Proverbs 21:19

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.



Young man! Being single is horrible – abandoned, empty, forlorn, frustrating, lonely, painful, pitiful, purposeless, sad, and troublesome! But it is worse to be married to an opinionated woman that gets upset with you! Learn this lesson well! Believe it! Save yourself! Marrying the wrong woman is hell compared to the heaven of being single!

Young man! Solomon knew what he wrote! He had 700 wives and 300 concubines (second class wives). The soul pain of a contentious and angry wife for one day can cure a man of desiring marriage! Solomon had 1000. God inspired him to give you a warning: do not marry an opinionated woman. Marriage can be more painful that you can imagine.

Young man! Do you like camping … far out in the woods … by yourself? If you do not, that is fine! Most men would dread such a lonely situation. But remember, such camping is better than living in a fine home with all the creature comforts, if the woman in that house with you is a critical, negative, overbearing, tense, or easily irritated woman.

What is a contentious woman? One with a disposition to contend – who argues, criticizes, disagrees, opposes, quarrels, or questions you. She is full of questions, reminders, and suggestions – all to help you, of course! Rather than doting on you, she will be nagging you; rather than sweetly agreeing, she will be questioning and suggesting alternatives.

What is an angry woman? One who cannot rule her spirit and is easily angered, dissatisfied, irritated, negative, resentful, or upset. She can find something negative about the best event, and she frets and talks most about that. She is never satisfied. She is never content, seldom your sweet lover, but always irritated and stressed about something.

Young man! These odious – hateful and despicable – women will deceive you (30:21-23). They will lure you into marriage, and then it is too late. Remember the rule of ten! Any hint of overbearing before marriage will be ten times worse afterward. Guaranteed! Test her! Ask her to do something she dislikes. If you even smell irritation or detect one fallen facial muscle, run for the woods! Be single for life rather than married to her!

There are many agreeable, cheerful, gracious, submissive, sweet, and reverent women. They can make you feel like a king in seconds, and marriage to them is royal bliss. They are warm, kind, charming, and pleasant. They have no harsh or rough edges. Reject any woman that is even slightly critical, moody, opinionated, or questioning. She does not deserve a husband, ever! You do not deserve such pain! You deserve a real woman!

The odious woman cannot smell her own stench. She thinks she is helpful by prodding, asking questions, stressing over details, giving reminders, expecting perfection, or disliking a choice. If you were to ask her, she would say she is a good woman and wife. If you were to ask her mother, she would praise her as well (Ezek 16:44). But all others must hold their noses at the smell her husband cannot hide to his own shame (27:15-16)!

Young man! Your future is at stake! Learn the warnings in these proverbs about odious women. Believe them! Fear the pain of marriage to such a creature! Be prudent! Test a prospect, and watch her reaction closely. Is her mother a charming, desirable, and gracious woman, or not? Ask married men their opinions, for their sense of smell is finely tuned. Do not rush to marriage! Never take a chance with a fifty-year fate!

Christian woman! Get rid of your opinions, for your desires are to be your husband’s (Ge 3:16). Learn and maximize graciousness, and you will always be loved (11:16). Godly women do not contend with their husbands; they obey, submit, and reverence them (Eph 5:22-24,33; Titus 2:3-5). Godly women are not irritable or negative (31:26; I Pet 3:3-4).

Christian parent! It is your responsibility to train your children from Solomon’s proverbs to get wisdom. Boys should be shown and taught the difference between a gracious woman and odious woman, so they will know what kind to marry. Girls should be shown and taught the difference so that some noble prince of a man will want to marry them.